Does your dog struggle spending time away from you? Separation struggles are very common and may show themselves in many different ways. For some dogs it’s not just anxiety about their owner being out of sight but real FEAR, which can cause enormous stress for both dogs and their owners. Not being able to leave your dog alone for even a short time can put a huge strain on your lifestyle as nobody wants to see their dog suffer. And how calm and settled is your dog even when you are at home? Typically Separation Struggles already manifest when the owners are at home, for example: does your dog follow you to the bathroom and everywhere else you go?
There are many reasons why we need to be able to confine dogs or leave them out of sight at times, here are a few examples:
- Potty training for puppies, using a crate or pen
- Separation (multi-dog household management) from other dogs, cats or small children
- Management when visitors come to the house – safety for all
- Preparation for visits to the vet or groomers
- Travel in the car, staying at a hotel
What do separation related behaviors look like?
This can be any change in behavior when you’re not in the same room while at home or otherwise physically separated:
- Pottying in the house although they have just been outside
- Inability to be calm and relaxed when in a crate / pen or behind a baby gate
- Following you around the house, every time you get up or leave the room. Can you go to the bathroom without your dog insisting on coming along?
- Destructive behaviors, like chewing furniture, toys, walls, carpets…
- Vocalizing: Whining, barking, howling as well as excessive greeting upon your return
- Not eating while left alone: even the best treats are left untouched!
So, why do dogs struggle, even when you are at home?
Have they learned that your presence is important? Does every move you make matter to them?
If your dog thinks that they should always have access to you when you are present, it can quickly become part of their blueprint of the world. To a degree, it’s perfectly normal that dogs think that our presence is important because we feed them, interact with them, play games, all of which makes them feel good!
If your Presence is important, then your Absence also becomes important!
- Empty the stress bucket
- Ditch the routine
- Become less predictable
- Inspire Calmness
- Growing Independence
- Boundary Games
- Growing Optimism
- Building a Safety Net
There are common misconceptions about why dogs have separation anxiety:
- Early weaning of a puppy from its mother has not shown to be a risk factor for separation related behaviors.
- Relinquishing of a dog into a shelter environment is often thought to be the cause for separation related behaviors but this has not been backed up by studies. It may well be the other way around: dogs get re-homed because of separation struggles.
- Spoiling a dog by letting them sleep on the bed with the owner has not been shown to be connected with separation struggles, according to studies that have looked at this. This is not the same thing as allowing a dog constant access to the owner! It is more important that dogs spend time apart from their owners during the day, when the owner is present and moving about.
Each situation will look different and we have to put together a customized transformation plan which will take time and patience. There is no quick fix but it is possible to change the wiring in your dog’s brain by teaching them the skills they are lacking. Simply trying to leave dogs alone for increasing amounts of time usually doesn’t work… many people without a real plan have tried this without success.
Here are some quick and easy games to get you started:
- Boundary Games = building lots and lots of value for boundaries, which not only grows Calmness and Independence by teaching dogs that there is value in hanging out in a clearly defined area which is incompatible with following us around all day long
- Growing Optimism and Independence through games like Cardboard Chaos => build up to some visual barriers with larger boxes or objects that your dog can get behind, out of sight
- Calmly reward moments of independence, i.e. dog moving away from you, out of sight behind the couch -> throwing a piece of kibble to them, away from you
- Seeking games, like hiding treats or toys: start easy, while your dog is on a boundary, place a treat or your dog’s favorite toy just out of reach but within sight; work towards more distance and more difficult, out of sight hiding locations. This fun game teaches your dog that there is value in moving away from you and reinforcement is found at a distance, not near you!
These games and strategies are also valuable in safeguarding your dog from ever becoming worried when left alone! Especially with new puppies we have the opportunity to grow these life skills at home so we never have to deal with separation related struggles later on.
IF however your dog is already
- unable to be confined in any way
- unable to be left alone
- thinking that your movement is important
- thinking that your presence means they have to have access to you
… you may want to sign up for my Separation Struggles – Behavior Class,
starting November 20th:
- 8 zoom lessons which will be recorded and available for download
- A structured, guided program that’s easy to work through, at your dog’s pace
- Games to teach skills to your dog
- Ongoing support in a private FB group
Pawsome Connection Dog Training & Behavior 